Chocolate Turtles

Today on an outing with my kids and long time boyfriend, after a lunch at a buffet we decided to go to the goodwill next door to walk off the food we ate. It was about to rain so a walk at the park was a bad idea. Goodwill woulsbhave to do. My symptom were tolerable, almost “normal me”, but when we walked out of Goodwill we noticed it began to rain. As we walked to the suv it very quickly began to down poor and about 3 or four vechiles away from ours, my limbs began to lock and the muscles in my stomach began to tighten. I had to gasp for air and at that sound my kids tries to help and my boyfriend suddenly became very frustrated and worried and what looked like an angry scared. He fussed at the kids to get in the car and rushed back to me. He grabbed me by the arm and stood behind me trying to untwist my leg. I struggled to tell him to fix it later, but he worried I would seriously injure my knee or twist an ankle or fall like I have before.

I realized then the weight this must put on his shoulders. For overa a year and some months he has been there for me like Noone else has or would understand. I have offered him an out, but he hasn’t left.

Today he admitted to me he worries about me when he is not around. I reassured him I have managed so far. I have always managed. I always figure thing outs. But he’s a helper. He wants to know how to fix it, how to help me and I realized it isn’t easy for him not to be able to make it better.

This is for the loved ones who spend their lives loving and taking care of those of us with illnesses and disabilities not because we’re I’ll, but because we are loved. I love you and I need you to know it really is okay that you can’t fix it. You are amazing for loving me with all my new “wiggles” and most importantly for going out in the middle of the night to buy me chocolate turtles when I’m on my period.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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