Want the Good News or The Bad News First

Yesterday evening was my 4th day on this new medication. My boyfriend made sure to remind me about the medication right after a spasm/breathing episode in the shower. I suddenly felt very tired. I told him I should get out of the shower. I didn’t feel any spasms  I just wanted to sit down. He noticed my breathing was off, but I assured him I felt fine…just tired. We had just had really good sex. I was bound to be tired I assured him. He made a joke about wearing me out. I smiled and my breathing  grew heavier. He turned the shower off and helped me move to the side we always get out on, the back of the tub, except then I began to lock up. My left leg straightened, stiff and tight. It’s very hard for me to bend my knee or lift my leg to step over the tub and onto the floor when it straightens this way. I hate it. I managed to step out anyways by shifting my wait and lifting and then grabbing my leg to bend it. I then stepped over and down onto the floor. I stood there, he opened the shower curtain, did his making sure the water drains properly thing and that is when my legs buckled from underneath me. I don’t remember why and I fell to my knees. I felt my self struggle to breath, like I just ran a marathon, except this time it didn’t hurt and my muscles didn’t feel as tight.

Once I managed to sit down, with his help, I told my boyfriend the symptoms are not as bad as they were, spasms are shorter and not as intense, but I can no longer or I can barely feel them happening now. This is good because it is less painful, but also bad because it gives me less warning of when a spasm episode is about to begin. Maybe it will take some time getting use to the medication. He was happy that we were able to go as long in bed this time without me having an episode. I had to think about it for a moment. Its true, we did go quite a while today and I did not have an episode. Wonderful! Recently we’ve had to have a quickies for sex or wait until a good day, or just expect an episode to happen and deal with it has it came. Sometimes I would spasm and sometimes I wouldn’t. I have to say an orgasm with a spasm to follow…quite an interesting experience. Sometimes it was laughable and sometimes it was extremely painful.

The spasms that followed the shower last night though was not painful. Even as I struggled to breath during a few of them. I looked at him and told him, I can’t feel the spasms, not like I use to. He looked at me and said something along the lines that they are still happening and I’m still struggling to breath, just not as intense. I said maybe it will take time for the medication or maybe I need a stronger dose.




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